It's Crazy, Alright
by jeez claudine
Summary: [ONE SHOT] Rated M due to the use of language and er...content. This is what happens when I drink too much caffeine. I start getting crazy ideas in my head. This is one of them.


**Disclaimer: **The Mediator Series belongs to Meg Cabot; therefore, I do not own them.

One-Shot, no sequels, nothing, nada, but please, don't get too mad at me.

* * *

"Suze, Paul's here!" mom yelled. 

"I'm coming!"

Lip gloss…check! Mascara and eyeliner…check! Outfit…I looked at my reflection in the mirror. A white polo shirt, a black miniskirt and flip-flops, hmm, check! Hair…PERFECT! It took me two hours just to make it not frizzy and curly. I hate not having natural straight hair.

"Suze, I'm sending Paul up to your room," mom yelled again. "There better not be any hanky panky going on in there!"

"Yes, mom," I said. "Will you quit yelling?"

"Whatever," she said. "Just to let you know, I already sent him up, no hanky panky," she repeated. "And Paul I know you can hear me, remember what I said, alright?"

"Yes, Mrs. Ackerman," I heard Paul say back.

"Suze, you in there?" he said, knocking.

"Yeah, I'm here," I said. "Come in."

The door screeched open. Paul Slater was just standing by my door, looking so much like a Greek God. I know what you're saying, what happened to Jesse? He moved on. He says that it wasn't me who was holding him back, it was the thought that he never loved anyone as much as he loved me that was. As if! I was left heartbroken that day, which was a year ago. Paul was there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and mend it back together, so clichéd, I know right? But yes, Paul helped me get through my tribulations and we've been dating ever since. He's been very helpful, though sometimes, he can be very discombobulating. For example, he'll be teaching me some new shifter techniques. He dematerializes behind me and smacks my butt. Psh.

The thing that happened between us was probably just a love and hate relationship. I knew that the first time I met him at the Pebble Beach Hotel and Golf Resort, something wonderful was going to happen between us but it didn't happen after Jesse moved on. He was the reason why I hid away from Paul, because I was infatuated with a ghost. Yes, it was infatuation, not love. You actually think that, I, Suze Simon who can break a person's finger before you can say 'ouch', would fall in love with a ghost? I think not; so all that was going on between me and Jesse was just a schoolgirl crush, nothing else. Okay okay, so I thought that Jesse was my one true love that'll last for all eternity but that does not prove anything. I mean, he's not going to be my only love. And yes, I did fall for him, Jesse, I mean. But, I still love Paul. Though, if it wasn't for Jesse, Paul and I wouldn't have bonded. So yeah, props to you Jesse, man, wherever you are; whether it'd be in the future or the third dimension!

"What are you looking at?" he asked with the smirk on his face.

I realized that my mouth was hanging open. I closed it. "Oh, uh, nothing," I said, my face turning red like a tomato. "You just look really nice. You know, that shirt looks quite nice on you, it really brings out the color of you-" He kissed me to stop my chattering. I tend to do that a lot, you know, chattering I mean, when I'm really nervous about something. _He's such a good kisser_…here comes the moans.

"So, you like that?" he asked.

I grinned and pulled him towards my bed. "Uh-huh."

"I thought your mom said no hanky panky?"

"Kissing's not considered kinky, you know that right?"

"Yes it is considered kinky, if it's something like this," he kissed me with such force that I tumbled down on my bed and he ended up on top of me. It's not much of a comfortable position when you're only a 125 pound teenage girl and the guy who's on top of you weighs in the 170-200 pound vicinity.

"Uh, Paul, you're kind of squishing me here,"

"Oh, right sorry, hold on."

He rolled over so now I'm on top of him. "That better?"

I nodded. He made a move to kiss me again but I stopped him. "You know what my mom said Paul, we have to go, you're taking me out remember? Or did you forget that?"

"Yeah," he said, "don't worry, I didn't forget. Let's go." He lifted me up and put his arm around my waist.

"So, do you feel somewhat aroused now?" he asked.

"Hmm, maybe," I tiptoed and gave him a peck on the lips. "So, we are going now?"

He nodded. "Then, let's go!" I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of my room.

"Suze, where are you two headed?" she looked from Paul to me.

"Oh, we're going to see a movie and probably go to a fast-food restaurant," Paul looked at me for some kind of back-up.

I finally got what he meant and said, "Right! Yes we are!"

My mom eyed as warily but finally gave up, "Make sure to take her back home at precisely one in the morning, alright Paul?"

"Yes, Mrs. Ackerman."

To tell you the truth, Paul and I aren't really going to the movies or a fast-food restaurant. We're going to his house, Dr. Slaski and his attendant is away for vacation so Paul invited me over. Naughty, I know. I'm ready. At least I think I am.

"So, Suze…" he turned to me, "Are you ready?"

I nodded and knew what he meant. Today was the day that my virtue is going to be taken away. But at least it's by someone I love.

"Okay, then," my mom said exasperatedly, as if she couldn't wait to get us out of the house. "Get going then, now you two." And away, she pushed us out of the door. Not literally though. My mom's not like that.

We got to Paul's house 15 minutes later. When we got out of the car, Paul just made a move on me and started kissing me until I was pressed up against the wall. I was pretty surprise by this move, perhaps because Paul had fire in his eyes, meaning as if he couldn't wait to take me to his bedroom.

"You got the goods?" I asked.

"Yep, right here in my back pocket," he said tapping his rear end where he placed the condoms he bought earlier from the drugstore. Don't worry, it's safe, 95 guaranteed. _Trojan Man!_

"Good, let's go," We went inside his house, and sure enough no one as home. I started feeling all nervous, since I don't know how to…you know. I'm inexperienced unlike Paul, who's probably shagged millions of women. "Paul, are you a virgin or not?" I asked him, walking up the stairs along side of him to his bedroom.

"Not," he answered.

"Oh…"

"Don't worry, I've only done it with two girls," he said. "Guess who the last one was."

"Debbie?"

He shook his head.

"Omigosh, don't tell me," I said. "Kelly Prescott?"

He nodded, "But you do know that I haven't fucked anyone in a year right? Since we were going out and I didn't want to cheat on you? So, I'm kind of out of practice…maybe we could help each other out," he said, smirking.

"Uh-huh, right," I said, giving him a smug look.

"Haughty Suze."

"I am neither stuck-up nor conceited, okay Cocky Paul?"

"That was such a lame comeback," he said. "You gotta practice more, babe."

"Ugh, whatever, let's get this thing finished. You're making me all…"

"All what?" his lips turning into a smirk again.

"Nothing,"

"Okay then," he said. He picked me up and hoisted myself over his shoulder; you know what Nick does to Jessica in Newlyweds, yeah _that_. "Paul, what the hell are you doing?"

"Nothing,"

"Okay then," I smacked his butt playfully."

"What was that for?"

"Nothing," He smacked my butt in return. "Paul!" I whined, I'm not much of a whiner but when a hot guy's carrying you, you just have a propensity to do that.

&&

"Paul…I…need…you…" I said between gasps, "NOW!"

And after 5 seconds, he was inside me; I'm not a virgin anymore. At least, I was ready, I was, really. I've been thinking about it ever since we started dating. You could say that it can be written on a book titled: 101 Ways to Shag a Slater.

I've been having senseless dreams about him…inappropriate ones, but now, it's real. We've finally done it.

"So, you liked that?" he asked, after taking deep breaths.

I just grinned and nodded.

"Well, then," he said. "I suppose we better get you home."

"Okay"

I stood up and I felt pain. The good kind of pain, "God, you didn't tell me it would hurt this much for first-timers." I complained.

He smirked, "You'll get used to it as time passes by."

"It feels like I have a stick up my vagina." I started walking in slow motion, you know, like the Gingerbread Man in Shrek 2. _I'm going to eat youuuuuuu!_ That kind of walk.

"Man, I just can't imagine the pain girls go through once they've gotten laid," he said, shaking his head. "Does it really hurt that much? I think it's because my thing is too large, is it? I mean I don't know, Kelly said that it was-"

"Will you stop your babbling? It's not _too _big, alright? It's the perfect size," I said.

Not that I've seen any. I mean, I think the only guy's cock I've seen was one of my guy friends back in New York, and that was when I was only 5 years old. So that doesn't really count. I was just stating a fact. Paul's is not too big or too small. Just the way I like it, okay, ew, why am I even talking about his penis by the way?

He smirked. His trademark smirk, "Really?"

"Yeah, yeah, let's go," I told him, "Or else, I'd be force to plunge a stick up your ass."

"Gee, Suze, I never knew you knew about anal,"

"Anal what?" I asked in confusion. I've heard the word before; I just don't know what it means.

"Never mind, you'll learn all about it soon," he said.

&&

When Paul dropped me off at home, my mom asked him to come in. She had a sad look on her face, eyeing Paul apprehensively, which made him shift in his seat uncomfortably.

"Paul," my mom started, "Is your mom Nancy Slater?"

He nodded.

Her eyes filled with tears, and I just sat there in silence, listening to what my mom was trying to say. "We were best friends back in high school," she said. "We lost touch after we graduated and never saw her again. Of course, she met your dad there, and I met your dad there, also, Susie." She said to me.

"Mom, what are you trying to say?"

"Well, I'm afraid it's a very bad news, but there's a good one too. So which one do you want to hear?" she asked.

"The bad one first," Paul said.

"Your parents got in a car accident while driving here to Carmel from Seattle to visit your grandfather. A drunk driver passed by and collided with your parents' car, hitting the passenger's side," she said, sobbing. "Meaning your mom was severely hit and your dad was fine but when he got admitted to the hospital…he died." She stood up and hugged me, "Oh, Susie!"

"There, mom, its okay," I said, awkwardly patting her back. It was sad news I admit but I took one look at Paul and I can almost see tears filling up his eyes, which was kind of freaky since you know, he's _Paul_, and Paul doesn't show emotion.

"What's the good news?" Paul asked shakily.

"Well," my mom straightened up and said blowing her nose, "Your parents and Suze's dad and I, signed a contract, it was friendship thing. It said that if something happens to the other couple and dies, the remaining couple must adopt the child or children they have. We all signed it and I still have it."

"So, what's your point?" I asked.

"I'm going to adopt Paul and Jack," she simply said, "Which means, they won't be Paul or Jack Slater anymore, from then on, they'll be Paul Ackerman and Jack Ackerman."

Paul looked in my direction and stared at me, "You hear that, Suze?" he said.

I nodded in complete utter shock.

Holy Shit! I just fucked my future stepbrother!

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Review, please:D 


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